Sad news from my heart to yours

I am no longer pregnant. I write these words and am smiling with tears in my eyes and am able to say that this child was not for me. There is another soul out there for me, waiting. And so, I will live, love, be a good wife and mother, teach, write and smile. For I know, that I am merely one of so many women who sadly know the feeling of excitement and then loss in the form of a miscarriage. I thank God that it was merely the fifth week in and not four or five months down the road.
So, don't shed too many tears for me, remember, I am blessed and so are Kevin and Heather. We are a unique family who love each other for who we are, no strings. Kevin and I are equals who rejoice in each other's triumphs and hold each other when we just need to be held. I wish for all of you this kind of love that needs no words.
I know that I am suppose to be "bed bound," but after I found out I wasn't pregnant anymore, I knew that I needed to focus on Heather, my first true miracle. We bought some silly string and had a wonderful silly string fight in the front yard when Daddy Kevin got home. (And don't worry, the rest of the time I have been in bed, my doctor said to stay in bed until Friday). I just needed to laugh with my daughter and husband and feel the outside crisp cool air. I needed to feel the warmth of our love found in those fun spirals of colored string and smile once again. So, I will survive. I will listen to my doctor and I will write and remember all of the voices of the many women who have not been heard in the many pregnancy and new mother books that are out there. The voices of the women who have felt loss, have cried and lost a shred of their souls, and in many instances, lost again. For you I will write and smile and laugh and wish us all a happy world filled with love, laughter, smiles galore and babies, adorable and healthy babies.