I have been tied up in the land of sick...but today, I must write

I have been sick since last Wednesday. It has been a rough time filled with lots of phlem, coughing, cold, fever and more phlem. Sleepless nights and MS symptoms through the roof. I am doing somewhat better. But, all of that aside, today is the two year anniversary of my dear first husband's passing. October has become a rough month for me because October was always Linn's favorite month. He would start decorating for Halloween as of October 1st every year. I remember one year that our neighbors actually thought that our house was condemned or that something was wrong. It was too funny! Linn loved Halloween and was like a kid in a candy store when it came to purchasing new things for his Halloween displays. He loved creating new things for the displays he would put up in our yard and, thanks to him, we attracted sometimes over 300 people on Halloween night. I am hoping that maybe next year, October will be my favorite month again. Ever since Linn's passing, I haven't been able to enjoy October like I use to. Each year, I relive every single day leading up to Linn's death. It is hard and amazing at how much I can recall as if it were yesterday. I loved and still do love my first husband. Thanks to him, I have a beautiful daughter. I know that Linn would be happy with how I am raising her without him and know that he left because he knew that I could and would live on without him. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of him, but it is a good thought and a happy memory, not a dwelling on loosing him. I am happy and proud to say that promised Linn sometime before he died that I would live on if he ever passed away. I promised him that I would be of the living and enjoy my life and be a good mother. I smile, knowing that I am okay and I will continue to be just fine.